Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
