how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize