thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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