I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
