he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
