we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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