Moan for me like Helen Keller
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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