singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
