what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
