all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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