I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
