i think my mom watched the whole time
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
