you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
