How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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