he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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