Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
