Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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