I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
