ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
