So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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