So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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