ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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