Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
