As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
