How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i think i have two assholes
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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