i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
