Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
