Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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