I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
