Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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