Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
