You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
