i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
