thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
