Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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