if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
