Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
