is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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