Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
