He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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