Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
