5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
