Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
