hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
