I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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