I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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