OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
