tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize