I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
