The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
