i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
His nipple licking is glorious
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