ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
