Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Drake has all the answers
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
