If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
only you would photoshop your dick
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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