My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
