He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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