So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
